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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26707942">Go to Sleep</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowanwrites/pseuds/rowanwrites'>rowanwrites</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wolf 359 (Radio)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, I love them so much, Renée is the only one with any common sense, Renée misses eiffel a lot, Sharing a Bed, and she doesn't save any for herself, everyone misses eiffel a lot, hera has every right to be mad, lovelace overworks herself as usual</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:35:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26707942</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowanwrites/pseuds/rowanwrites</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing Scene after Lovelace's shuttle explodes<br/>Lovelace will not stop working and Minkowski takes things into her own hands</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Isabel Lovelace/Renée Minkowski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Go to Sleep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was never kind to me, not really. Courteous, yes. Always. Once I landed back on that little slice of hell and we got over me trying to kill them, we were colleagues. Not Selberg. He’s a monster.<br/>
Minkowski, though? We were coworkers, and sometimes we were partners.<br/>
Until Eiffel died. He’s as good as dead, for a very long time. She blames me, I can see it in her eyes. I don’t hold it against her. I blame myself too.<br/>
Hera doesn’t try to hide how much she hates me after the bomb goes off. I killed her best friend, the only person keeping her sane in her own decaying body.<br/>
Hera doesn’t comment on me staying up all night, even though I know she notices. Hera sees everything. Minkowski does, though.<br/>
“Lovelace, when’s the last time you slept?”<br/>
“Does it matter, Commander?”<br/>
“Yeah, does it matter, Commander?”<br/>
“Hera, cut it out.”<br/>
“But-”<br/>
“I said cut it out.”<br/>
“Again, it doesn’t matter”<br/>
“It does, because I asked you, Captain.”<br/>
“I killed your communications officer, and you care if I got a good night’s sleep?” I hiss.<br/>
She flinches, and I know I’ve gone too far. “You can’t perform your duties if you aren’t rested. Go take twenty, Captain.”<br/>
I grimace at her cold tone, but I know I deserve it. “Yes, sir.”<br/>
I go back to my quarters, Selberg’s quarters, and lay down on Selberg’s bed. As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I sit back up. A cup of coffee will have to do.<br/>
She looks surprised to see me back so soon, and I pretend I didn’t hear Hera calling me a murderer. As if I didn’t know that already. “I don’t recall telling you to take three minutes to rest, Captain.”<br/>
“Not tired.”<br/>
There isn’t a single person who believes me, but she doesn’t argue, and I know Hera wouldn’t mind if I worked myself to death.<br/>
I go back to work, forcing my arms to keep moving even as they turn to lead.<br/>
“You’re going to kill yourself if you keep working.”<br/>
I watch her from the corner of my eye. “Didn’t think you’d mind so much.”<br/>
“I’m not going to lose another member of my crew.” Her voice softens. “Seriously, Captain. You need rest.”<br/>
“I can’t sleep,” I admit quietly.<br/>
“Do you have a history of insomnia?”<br/>
I laugh bitterly. “The bed I’m supposed to sleep in belonged to a murderer, and now I’ve done the same thing he did.”<br/>
“You aren’t a murderer.”<br/>
“Eiffel’s dead!” I shout. My voice breaks, and I tell myself it’s the sleep deprivation. It has to be. “He’s dead, and it’s my fault. I know it, Hera knows it. Just admit to yourself that I killed him.”<br/>
“Lovelace, come with me.”<br/>
“Unless you’re taking me to the airlock, I might as well keep working.”<br/>
“That’s an order, Captain.”<br/>
I roll my eyes. “Aye aye, sir.”<br/>
I flinch when I realize who gave me that habit, and I see Minkowski do the same. The lights in the hallway flicker menacingly.<br/>
“Hera, go bother Hilbert. Try to make him cry or something. Just avoid checking on my quarters.”<br/>
“I- yes, sir.” She sounds surprised, and I know my face holds the same sentiment.<br/>
“Why, exactly am I following you, commander?”<br/>
She doesn’t answer me, and stops outside her quarters. “After you, Captain.”<br/>
My brain short circuits, and before I can even begin to comprehend what’s happening, she sighs in exasperation and tugs me through the doorway.<br/>
“Commander, is now the time to corner me in a bedroom?” Try as I might, I can’t put an ounce of snark into my question. Even to my own ears, I sound dead tired.<br/>
There’s a tinge of pinks on her cheeks when she says, “Bed, now.”<br/>
“Come again?”<br/>
“You’re dead on your feet, Lovelace. You’re getting far less work done than you think, and at this point I’m scared you’re going to hurt yourself.”<br/>
I shake my head. “I can’t.” I can’t remember the last time I slept in another woman’s bed, but this isn’t the time. I don’t deserve to. Especially Minkowski.<br/>
“That wasn’t a suggestion. You need rest.” She pushes me to the edge of the bed, and I don’t even fight when my knees buckle and I sit heavily on the mattress. “I’m going to leave and get some stuff done. Get some rest.”<br/>
“Wait!” I hear myself calling out to her, and curse myself inwardly when she stops and turns back to face me.<br/>
“Yes?”<br/>
I shake my head. “Sorry, nevermind. Go ahead.”<br/>
She’s by my side in an instant. “What do you need, Captain?”<br/>
“I don’t think I can be alone right now.”<br/>
Her face softens. “I can stay in here if you need.”<br/>
“You look like you need some sleep too,” I comment.<br/>
“You’re already using the bed, Lovelace.”<br/>
“You have the biggest bed on the station, Commander.”<br/>
She freezes. “Captain, I couldn’t possibly-”<br/>
“Minkowski.” Her name comes out differently than I intended, but I pretend not to notice and hope she does the same. “We are both dead on our feet, and from the look of your eyes, you can’t sleep alone either. It’s for the best of the crew and the station.”<br/>
She hesitates another moment, before floating over to the other side of the bed, more of a pod than anything. “Just because I have the biggest bed doesn’t mean it’s big.”<br/>
“Right now, I think I could sleep outside the station as long as someone is with me.”<br/>
“Honestly, same here.”<br/>
“Do you think Hera’s listening?”<br/>
“Would you mind so much if she was?”<br/>
“I would, actually.”<br/>
She raises her voice slightly. “Then she’d better not be. Why… why would you care, Captain?”<br/>
“Please, just call me Isabel.”<br/>
She lets out a surprised breath. “Okay, Isabel. Is this the sleep deprivation talking?”<br/>
I laugh quietly. “Probably. Can I call you Renée?”<br/>
“Sure, Isabel. Did you have trouble sleeping before… well, before all of this?”<br/>
“I haven’t slept well since Selberg killed Hui, Fisher, Fourier and Lambert. You’re lucky he never managed to kill you and yours.”<br/>
“You think I sleep well?”<br/>
“No, Renée. I don’t think anyone here has slept well since we got here.”<br/>
“You need to sleep now. You’re overtired.”<br/>
I snort. “How am I supposed to sleep well, knowing I killed Eiffel?”<br/>
“No, you didn’t-”<br/>
“I did. Hera knows it and I know you do too.”<br/>
She shifts, and in the small space I know she’s turning to face me. “Look at me, Isabel.” I turn to face her, trying and failing not to brush up against her as I do. “I don’t blame you. It was an accident. A terrible accident, but I don’t blame you. I just-”<br/>
Her voice breaks and I start to reach out instinctively, barely stopping myself from cupping her cheek. “It’s hard.”<br/>
“It is. I miss him, Isabel.”<br/>
“I miss him too.” In the dim light, I can’t see her expression, but there’s no mistaking it when she sniffles softly. “Renée.”<br/>
She untangles her arm and wipes furiously at her face, jostling me in the process. “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”<br/>
“Renée,” I repeat. “It’s okay to cry.”<br/>
“You don’t understand, I have to stay strong, I have to keep going, because if I don’t I’ll lose more people and I can’t do that.”<br/>
I reach out again, my hand coming to rest gently on her forearm. “I understand better than anyone else in existence what’s going through your head right now. I did this too. And you know what?”<br/>
She sniffs again. “What?”<br/>
“I cried every night. Since it first happened, I cried every single night because I was supposed to be leading them and instead I lost every single one of them.”<br/>
“Isabel…”<br/>
“I’m not saying that for your pity. I’m telling you that whatever emotions you’re feeling, it’s okay to feel them. There’s no one to be strong for. It’s just me.”<br/>
She breaks down, then and there. Even with no light leaking in from the hallway, I see her facade drop all at once as the tears really start falling. “He was everything to me, Isabel. More than Dominik, even, and he’s gone.”<br/>
“You were in love with him, then?”<br/>
“No. I just- I loved him so much. I still love him, but I don’t even know if there’s a Doug to love anymore, Isabel.”<br/>
I gently propel myself out of the bed, and she grabs my hand in a vice-like grip, a small whimper escaping her mouth. “I’m not leaving, Renée.”<br/>
“Stay with me?”<br/>
“I’m going to. Come with me to get tissues?”<br/>
She nods, and I tug her off the bed. She starts to let go of my hand, but I hold hers tighter. She smiles at me gratefully. “Dominik and I are in an open relationship,” she mumbles.<br/>
I panic for a second, before schooling my face to something more neutral. “Yeah?”<br/>
“Just in case you were worried about Eiffel. I don’t feel that way for him, but it’s not cheating for me to be with someone else.”<br/>
“I see. I… wouldn’t think that would be relevant in deep space.”<br/>
“I didn’t think so either,” she mumbles. “It was mostly for Dom, but it goes both ways.”<br/>
I nod, wondering just how intentional her ramblings are. We grab a box of tissues from the med bay and go back into her quarters, settling next to each other on the bed. “Here, let me…” I wipe her tears from her cheeks gently, and she leans into the touch.<br/>
“Eiffel kept telling me to be more spontaneous. He probably thought if he told me that enough, I’d let up about the rules.” She laughs weakly.<br/>
“Have you been spontaneous lately?”<br/>
She looks at me and I pray to Eiffel’s dear listeners that we’re thinking the same thing. “Not yet.”<br/>
I drop my hand from her face slowly, succumbing to the waves of exhaustion rolling over me. “Why don’t we make sleeping the most spontaneous thing we do tonight?”<br/>
She yawns in response, and I gently push her to lay down. “Why not start today?”<br/>
“You’re about to fall asleep, Renée. Tomorrow.”<br/>
“I can’t sleep.”<br/>
I lay down next to her, positioning myself to face her without touching her. “I’m here now.”<br/>
She reaches out to me, and I freeze as she wraps her arms around me. “Is this okay?”<br/>
“Yes,” I breathe. “Very okay.”<br/>
“Will you let me be spontaneous one more time before I fall asleep?”<br/>
“How could I say no? You are my commanding officer.”<br/>
“Not right now,” she murmurs. She pulls back slightly and puts her face inches from mine. “Right now we’re just us.”<br/>
She kisses me, and I must overcome my shock pretty quickly, because I’m kissing her back, tangled up in each other’s arms.<br/>
I break away, not wanting to, but barely able to keep my eyes open. “Pretty spontaneous, Commander.”<br/>
“Hey. That’s Renée to you.”<br/>
“Yes sir.”<br/>
She laughs quietly. “Thank you, Isabel.”<br/>
I press one more kiss to the tip of her nose. “Sleep well, Renée.”<br/>
“I think I will.”</p>
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